You might’ve noticed a little pattern that we’re doing here – car jokes. Somehow, we’ve turned a new page and found ourselves with a topic that’s far from funny kittens (although we’ll never denounce them) and more into the world of industries.
But hey, what are we to do if there are some pretty hilarious jokes that fall under this category? Ignore them completely? Well, that’s definitely not our style! So, if you’re wondering why on Earth we’re presenting you our latest roster of Ford jokes, just know this – they are, indeed, hilarious.
And no, we’re not sponsored by it. Although come to think of it, it would definitely be super cool to roll into the office each day in a Mustang from the early ‘70s.
Anyhoo, enough of daydreaming and back to the jokes about Fords. So, why Fords, exactly? Well, it’s just such a legend! A vehicle that was once a real trailblazer and an absolute trendsetter in its heyday.
Something that other countries should’ve been pretty jealous of, honestly. Also, acronyms. And boy, you can come up with some terrific Ford acronym jokes. You know, like F is for Funny, O is for Obsolete, and so on and so forth – I’m not going to make any new jokes when there are around a hundred funny Ford jokes a little bit further down!
That would be such a faux pas on my part.
So, ready for some quality jokes about cars? They’re just Ford-tastic! If you agree, scroll on down below to check them out, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your friends.
85% of all Fords made are still on the road today… The other 15% made it home.
Why are so many Hotwheels based after Ford models? So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.
“I woke up one day and wanted to go to the store. I went to my garage and saw that my car wasn’t there. That day, I realized I shouldn’t have bought a Ford Escape.”
What do you get when you crash a Ford Focus with a Ford Fiesta? A Ford Fusion.
You know what I like about Ford? They circle the problem for you.
When life gives you lemons… Quit buying Ford.
Why is Pokemon Go a lifesaver? Because it gives Ford owners something to do while they walk home.
“My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an escort for his birthday! I couldn’t understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford.”
“My wife and I bought a Ford Escape… We heard it was a great car for getaways.”
FORD: Fix or Repair Daily.
Ford working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won’t be cold.
To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, “Your garage is open” I said, “Did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?” She said, “No, but I did see your mini cooper with two flat tires.”
“My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won.”
What do you call a Ford Fiesta that won’t start? A Ford Siesta.
What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads? Max speed: 60 km/h. Fords do the best you can.
“I took a photo next to a Ford, but it’s blurred because it wasn’t Focus.”
What’s on pages 4 and 5 of the Ford user’s manual? The train & bus schedules.
“I gave some Adderall to my Ford Fiesta… It’s now a Ford Focus.”
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus.
What do you call a Ford on top of a hill? A lie.
What does the GT stand for on a Ford? Glued together.
“I got to test the new self-driving prototype, the Ford Dixie. But it crashed and I can’t get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them “My Dixie wrecked.””
“I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership. I lost my focus.”
Did you know Jesus had a Ford? That’s why he walked everywhere.
Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget? A Ford!
“I really wish people would just put their phones down and drive. Sent from my Ford Fiesta.”
“I went to a car show but there was nothing but Fords. I guess you could say it was a real Ford Fiesta.”
What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Ford? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Buy a Ford and you buy the best… Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
Why does Ford put magazines in the glove box of their new vehicles? So you’ll have something to read while waiting on the tow truck.
“I went to a car dealership with my wife we were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one.” The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up, and says: “Is that an Escort?”, “No this is my wife.”
Ford should create an 8-cylinder Fusion model. It would be a V8 Fusion.
Ford has announced their new car. But the Ford Siesta has caused some safety concerns.
What do you call a Ford with a twin exhaust? A wheelbarrow.
“I don’t get new car smell air fresheners. Your ’98 Ford Taurus isn’t fooling anyone.”
How do you get a Ford recalled? Wait.
What is the photographer’s favorite car? Ford Focus.
Man: “Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!” Friend: “OMG is she okay??” Man: “Well she may need some buffering and a new coat of paint but she should be alright.”
Wanna hear a Ford joke? Never mind, it won’t start.
How do you double the value of a Ford Focus? Fill the tank.
Why did the cat sleep under the Ford Focus? Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Did you know that Ford has a new magnetized bumper? They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
A man is talking to his friend… “Today I got a brand new Ford for my wife.” “Eyyy, nice trade.”
What’s your favorite pickup line? Mine is the Ford F Series.
Why do Ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you’re pushing it.
If you leave a Sombrero and Maracas in your Ford Focus will it become a Ford Fiesta?
What does Ford stand for? “Found On Road Dead.”
“I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.” Doctor: “That’s not how ADHD works.” Me: “But I keep losing my Focus.”
“I asked my father for a 30-year-old escort for my birthday… He brought home a 30-year-old Ford Escort instead.”
“I bought a rooftop tent for my Ford SUV. I like living on the Edge.”
What did they change the name of the Ford Bronco to when O.J. Simpson got acquitted? The Ford Escape!
Why were there 5 Mexicans in a Ford? It was a Fiesta.
What is the car that everyone sleeps in? The Ford Siesta.
Why couldn’t 1 Ford Focus give the other Ford Focus a message? Broken transmission.
“I see the new Ford Bronco is coming out soon. I bet the glove compartment is absolutely killer.”
“My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang.”
What do you call a Mustang in Canada? A Moosetang!
Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn’t she be “out of Focus?”
My friend is getting a new car – a “tangerine” Ford Focus. Dad drops this one… Tangerine Focus… Isn’t that the same as orange concentrate?
“My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150. He is a pickup artist.”
What’s more powerful than a North Korean nuclear bomb? Ford Fiesta.
What does a Playboy Magazine and a Model T Ford have in common? These days they’re both hard to come by.
What did Darth Vader say when he was disappointed with his shipment from the Ford dealership? There is no escape.
Ford announced today that they are discontinuing all but two of their cars… They’ve really lost their Focus.
American car companies have announced they are going 100% green. Starting with the Ford Ficus.
A man is texting and driving in his Ford by doing so he crashed and the car is totaled. You could say he lost his focus.
“It’s insane that car companies, especially Ford, pay hundreds of millions to try to stay ahead of the game. I guess they can’t a Ford to lose out.”
“I just saw an accident with a Ford Focus. Now it is all blurry.”
What’s a rapper’s favorite car? Ford Flex.
What comes after the third car? The Ford car.
What car does a nuclear physicist ride to work with? Ford Fusion.
“Why didn’t I buy a mustang? I couldn’t a Ford it.”
“I saw a horse driving a car the other day. It was a Mustang.”
Ford has announced their new car. But the Ford Siesta has caused some safety concerns.
What is a Ford F125? An F150 that the bank still owns.
What do you call a Ford Convertible? A mini-skip.
“My first escort… Was a Ford.”
“My father only hit me once as a child. But he used a Ford Transit.”
“So I went to buy a new truck… Too bad I can’t a Ford one.”
What did the man say when he saw the car cross the river? Ford!
What do you call a Ford towing another Ford? A Ford Fiesta!
What kind of car does a Jewish person drive? A Ford Torahs.
60 Drivers are killed by Ford but in a galaxy far far away.
What car does an alien abductee drive? A black Ford Probe.
“I finally figured out what Ford stands for… Fix Over Rand Dover.”
“I bought a Ford 4WD and I instantly scratched it with my keys, I was just marking my Territory.”
The Ford Edge… For when you want to get almost all the way there.
What’s the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley? A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
“My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his autograph.”
What would Chrysler’s version of the Ford Focus be called? Chrysler Concentrate.
“My lucky day! I didn’t have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta. I couldn’t afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.”
“I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T. It was a really interesting auto-biography.”
A car salesman asked me, “What are you looking for in a car?” I said, “It has to be affordable” He said, “I’m sorry sir, I’ve never heard of a Ford Ibble.”
“I let my Ford Explorer produce beats for Waka Flocka Flame. Now it’s a Ford Flex.”
The cops arrested me when they found me beating a Ford with a golf club. “I was charged with domestic abuse.”
What do you call a contract driver riding a Ford ranger? A ute-Uber.
Smuckers and Ford are getting together. They’re gonna make a traffic jam.
What do you call a car made of stone? A Ford.
Did you hear the news about the CEO of Ford? He was seen with an Escort…
If conceited people were cars, what engine would they run on? A Ford EgoBoost engine.
Did you know there was a decision made by Ford to stop producing tow trucks? They finally realized a tow truck couldn’t be expected to tow itself.
What’s a terrorist’s favorite car? A Ford Exploder.
Ford moved its production plants to Mexico. Introducing the Burro 350.
What does a mustang order at Starbucks? A Mach-e auto.
Ford recalls nearly 1.4 million cars, the steering wheel can come loose. Is this Ford’s idea of a driverless car?
What’s the difference between a Ford and the principal’s office? It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.
“That’s not a leak… My Ford’s just marking its territory.”
Why are the new Ford trucks and cars more aerodynamic? So they’ll save the Chevy gas when it tows them away.
What should the Ford Mustang really be called? The Ford Rustang.
Why are there sidewalks beside streets? So that Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
What did the Chevy say to the Ford? Would you like a tow home?
What do you call someone who buys a second-hand Ford? A scrap dealer.
Why are Ford dealers giving away a dog with each Ford sold? So the owner has someone to walk home with.
What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater? He said it was mind-blowing.
In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs… American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.
“I tried to download Ford Racing 2 today… It crashed.”
“Tim Cook was just named as the new CEO of Ford, and I for one am really excited! Now everyone will have the chance to buy a Ford-Apple car.”
How long does Ford go before doing a recall? About 36 years.
“I just walked into a Lincoln dealership that was a Ford dealership, Ford store, and seven years ago.”
What do you call a Ford F-350 stuck in a pond? One-Ton Soup.
“I heard someone got shocked by their Ford… That must stang.”
What do you call a Ford that’s out of gas? A Ford Parked.
Why did the Ford stop in the middle of the road? It wanted to live up to its reputation.
What’s Ford’s new model for introverts? The Ford Avoid.
Why are Ford jokes getting harder to make? Even the jokes are on a recall.
What’s the latest Ford feature? An Uber app, because you’ll need it.
Why do Ford owners never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always beside the road.
What’s the Ford motto at NASCAR? “Turning left and right into the repair shop.”
Why did the Ford sit next to the fire? To rekindle the spark it never had.
What do you call a Ford at a big car show? Lost.
Why do Fords make great movie cars? They always stop for dramatic effect.
